My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
