I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
