if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
