this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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