listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
