i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
