i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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