and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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