Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?