I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
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I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
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i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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