batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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