They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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