I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So much Jack, so little girl.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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