She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
