she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was confusing and full of hummus
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
