used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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