Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
