Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
