He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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