Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
we should paint friendship bongs
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
