Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
