no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I cut my penus on the lid.
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and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
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Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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