Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
