I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
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I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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