U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize