8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We need a shit load of segways right now
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
