Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
