i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
