I think im going to throw up on grandma
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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