party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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