i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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