Its about making memories worth repressing
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
