it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
home. puking in laundry basket.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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