i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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