We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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