oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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