You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
