I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Two words: nipple clamps
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