she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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