I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
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You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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