if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
even my farts smell like vagina
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize