Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize