I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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