So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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