I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
