you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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