This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Randomize
