we have pet lesbian snakes
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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