Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize