Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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