you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
it's like heaven, but drunker
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need to calm my uterus...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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