He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
