so that wasnt chicken after all
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
