3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
