just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
